This month, Ultimate Family Planner has the pleasure (the pun is a happy coincidence) to bring to you the expertise of Lara, from Elixir Play, to help with our February Self Challenge. You can see more from Lara, over on the Elixir Play website.
It’s that time of year. The time when everything comes out in heart shapes, where we are bombarded with love themes and told that we should be so excited for this single, random day which is the love of love day that is Valentine’s Day.
Some of us will be super excited, others dreading the day and some just wont care either way. Regardless of how you feel about it, it’s next to impossible to miss being reminded of it. So, this blog is not about Valentine’s Day. But something far more important, self-love. I think we like to talk about this a lot. We say love your body, body positive, be kind to yourself, me time. All these amazing buzz words that make our hearts swoon with desire at the thought of them. But in practice, its just not that easy.
Between our busy schedules, competing interests, social media highlights reels and societal images; loving ourselves becomes much harder to do in practice than we may think. So how can we change this?
I think it starts with changing our expectations. Sometimes the idea of having “me time” or feeling good about ourselves seems so far removed from our reality that we give up. If we just focussed instead on tiny steps, it may be more achievable. So here are some ideas.
- Do one thing every day just for you. Maybe it’s a bath, an uninterrupted coffee, watching your favourite TV show, calling a friend or meditating. Whatever it is. Just one thing. Every. Single. Day.
- Wear an outfit that makes you feel good. It doesn’t have to be stock-standard sexual. Doesn’t need to be everyone else’s cup of tea. But just something that makes you feel good about you. And wear it consciously
- Surround yourself with people who lift you up. That is both in real life and on social media. Social media can be a rabbit hole. We all put our best foot forward and often don’t spend any time. How often do you see someone who posts the amazing upright bikini shot, and then sits down and it’s a different story? We are all human. Most of us get that Sharpei looking skin after a while. It’s okay! It’s normal!
- Find something about your body you love. It could be your eyes, your mouth, your breasts, your legs. Just one thing. And compliment yourself. We are all so quick to complain. We have a bad experience and ask to speak to the manager. How often do you ask to speak to the manager to say how amazing your service was? We do the same with our bodies. We complain about how it looks to us and feels. But do you ever tell yourself how good you look? And if you don’t love it all yet, start small with just that one thing.
- Look after your health. Mental and physical. Feeling good in your mind is as important as physical health. It’s okay to not be okay and reach out for help if you feel you need it.
One of the reasons I am so passionate about this business is the way I try to encourage women to explore their bodies. It may seem silly, but most of us are not used to it.
As women, we are often raised to be isolated in our pleasure and very few resources existed to help us. This is starting to change but is still extremely limited. When we explore, we allow ourselves to get comfortable with all parts of our body. The way our skin feels, the grooves, the scars, the marks, the reminders of who we are and how we go there. And if we do this in a positive way, sometimes it can help us learn to appreciate these things.
That C-Section scar that used to bother me, becomes my tiger stripe for the 2 beautiful girls I have. The stretch marks – well they show me how amazing my body was to grow the 2 humans. And those 4 scars from my laparoscopy show me how my body recovered from endometriosis which I no longer have.
Changing the way we look at these things makes all the difference in the world. Using pleasure products along with this, enhances the ability for us to love our bodies. When we get to experience pleasure in our own way, on our own terms and just for ourselves, there really is no better expression of loving our body. Taking the time to see what feels good and knowing you have full control is empowering. The ability to use with or without a partner means that you get the choice. It is liberating.
So, whether you choose to use a product or simply take one of these tips for yourself today, I hope when Valentines Day comes around that you find something about you to love. Something about you to celebrate. You deserve it
Pick yourself up something for valentines, with 10% discount for our followers using the code SELFLOVE